Date: Sun, 3 May 1998 08:24:45 +0100

To: ken-wilber-l@listserv.azstarnet.com

From: Thomas Jordan <Thomas.Jordan@redcap.econ.gu.se>

Subject: How to catch the ego: Part 5

How to catch the ego by the tail - some hints: Part 5

Control strategy 5: Exclusive commitment to particular standpoints. Refusal to consider different options.

This ego-preserving strategy concerns the will. Out of fear of having to suffer deprivation, the ego focuses on one particular standpoint, and insists that this is the only acceptable solution. Strong attachment to a well-defined standpoint, rather than to an open-ended search for alternative ways of satisfying underlying interestes and needs, can give the benefit of feeling more secure. If we know exactly what we want, we have eliminated one additional uncertainty factor, and corroborate the illusion of having a firm grasp of the situation. A distinct and fixed standpoint creates clear boundaries between success and failure, and creates a gap between myself and my counterpart. This gap allows me to feel that I know who I am and what I want, and those things are a delimited entity.

Openness to consideration of creative alternatives evokes fear of losing control, even of being manipulated and tricked. Of course there is some truth in this, as well. However, if one can become aware of one's own tendency to stick to a particular solution, rather than to the basic needs involved, there is some possibility of gaining a measure of freedom of choice among alternatives. Apart from the benefits for conflict resolution, this kind of self-observation can disclose part of what the ego is, and how it operates.

Thomas